Mike Ventarola

It is that kind of pervasive dark where you cannot see your own hand in front of you. The type that allows the mind to cross that thin veil between fantasy and reality. It envelopes like a black shroud from the deepest abyss. Suddenly, ethereal strains of music swirl and pulsate around you. Moments later, a loud cacophony off in the distance and a blinding flash of light!

No, it’s not doomsday, but our wonderful Goth ghouls du jour who have come to get into the kitchen to rattle the pots and pans. Our guests include the living Jarboe, Tara Vanflower of Lycia, Nick Pagan from The Changelings, Charlotte Sather from Faith and Disease, Lisa Feuer, Elysabeth Grant and Sam Rosenthal from Black Tape For a Blue Girl, Melody Henry, Natalia Lincoln, Ericah Hagle and Michael Laird from Unto Ashes, Jason Wallach from The Unquiet Void, Matthew Chinn from Frolic, and lastly, Michael Plaster from Soul Whirling Somewhere.

Jarboe : SeaTrout Phyllo and a strong 15% alcohol Zin – to go with it.

Ericah : Oyster Stew

Tara : Chicken fajita’s with homemade guacamole!

Charlotte : Indian food–it’s my favorite and its easy... a yummy dish called saag aloo (or spinach and potatoes). Homemade bread – made practical with the wonderful invention the bread machine – is always impressive, too.

Lisa : hmmm...that’s a tough one, as it really depends on who’s coming to dinner.... If I knew how to make it, I think tempura would be good... lots of vegetables, little shrimp for the more carnivorous... simple, yet exotic, and vegetables are so inexpensive!

Elysabeth : Lasagna... on a very attractive tray of course.

Sam : Hmm? Elegant? I would probably go with something ethnic, like Indian food.

Melody : I can’t cook and I don’t do dishes. So a dinner party at my house would apparently be out of the question.

Matthew : Anything Indian. Rice is cheap (but must be basmati). Possibly Tandori. This blows away your guests because you have a cool ethnic meal, some of which they might have never tried before.

Michael Plaster : Hehe dinner party. Uh, remember who you’re asking... I’m actually pretty stupid when it comes to the kitchen.

Jason : Hmm, I think that I would make a nice beef Wellington with a steamed green vegetable and some kind of potato. For desert I would make a nice strudel and top it with a nice streusel... oh and a glass of milk. And if I was feeling really saucy I’d say fuck it and whip out the Ding Dongs...wait a minute, that sounds dirty doesn’t it?

Michael Plaster : This is just a question to elicit a Marijuana reference, isn’t it? And no, I don’t smoke pot.

Ericah : Home fries

Jarboe : Oh – I am a master at cooking on a hot plate as that is all Michael and I had the entire time we lived in New York City on Avenue B and East 6th Street. I made a lot of pasta dishes and chili dishes – one pot stews and things like that.

Tara : Hmm... well, I guess noodles with chopped tomatoes and olive oil.

Charlotte : A nice bean concoction always works... even better if you can find low-fat ingredients.

Lisa : When I was really poor, I would make mac and cheese, but add a can of French cut green beans, and a can of tuna... a one pot meal... inexpensive, easy, filling, relatively nutritious. If you are a veggie/vegan, there is a great dish called “tofu scrambler” that I often make. Sauté some onions and garlic in pan or wok with a little olive oil and some soy sauce. Then, add half a block of broken up tofu, sprinkle on turmeric for yellow color. Also, add salt, pepper, a touch more soy sauce, and paprika for flavor. Add some fresh veggies on the side – some carrots, cukes, tomatoes, etc... an easy one pan dish that is quick and yummy!

Elysabeth : Nachos with organic blue chips. You can get all four food groups in that way.

Sam : I’d make a stir fry with tofu. Even if you don’t have a wok, you can use your old iron skillet and a bunch of oil. Don’t forget to put the soy sauce in the oil while you are sautéing... it smells great! And, some garlic about 2/3 of the way through. Don’t cook that garlic to death! Keep it tasty!

Natalia : Unfortunately, I don’t exactly have the highest culinary motivations, nor the sheer presence at my own house to develop them. Thus, I tend to rely on other people’s one-pot, two-pot or tin-pot concepts of nutrition. Under duress, I could probably open a box, or maybe even a can of something. I can also cut things up most of the time. But that’s pushing it. : )

Matthew : A pot roast, especially in the winter. Mmmmm.

Jason : I would have to say a pot pie. I am a big fan of them and a firm believer in them. I think that if more people took the time to just sit down with a pot pie... it relieves stress, sort of like owning a pet. Stroke the pot pie, talk to it, nurture it. But always be honest with your pot pie – they can be vengeful bastards!!

Jarboe : Not sure how recent a romance it is – but I love Pad Thai... And... the Coach House CHOCOLATE cake (recipe from the restaurant of the same name in Greenwich Village, NYC).

Michael Plaster : Canned chili, thanks to my recent horrible financial situation.

Ericah : Kimchi Soup

Tara : I’m on this southwestern grilled chicken salad thing lately! With corn salsa! Yum!

Nick : I think of food as something which will make my cigarettes taste better! (But) I really like sushi.

Charlotte : Well... as winter is descending upon us, I feel myself becoming more domestic and home-body every day. Making bread and a complimentary cream of veggie soup is nice... I have this great recipe that combines dry milk with veggie bouillon.

Lisa : Well, although it isn’t really recent discovery (probably four years ago), I can’t get enough of sushi!!! Sam jokes that I am addicted to it. I could eat it every day.

Elysabeth : It has, and seemingly will always be, sushi.

Sam : I could eat burritos three meals a day. Nothing exotic about them, but I love those burritos. This isn’t a new habit, I’ve had it for years. And I am not talking those wimpy fast food ones. Think “San Francisco” when you think burrito. If you are from there, you know what I mean. Black beans, please... extra Chihuahua cheese... and of course cilantro!

Melody : It’s a tie between cinnamon Life cereal with skim milk, and random squirts of Kraft fat-free whipped cream with the cow wearing sunglasses on the can, directly into the mouth as often as possible. Oh and Devil Dogs. Bring me Devil Dogs.

Matthew : Chicken Tandori. And my friend gave me some homemade sausage from Goa. Wow, it was truly unbelievable. Spiced and sooo good.

Jason : My wife (honestly) makes this dish called Tater Tot Casserole which is really fucking good. It has cream of mushroom soup in it, ground beef, string beans, onions, seasoning and, of course, Tater Tots. It tastes really good and when cooled makes a great adhesive. (hee hee)

Charlotte : Mostly, being a performer affects one’s diet when on tour. When you’re passing through 25 cities in 30 days, there’s no chance for much in the way of healthy eating... especially in the south... I don’t think “vegetarian” is part of their vocabulary. Eating primarily at convenience stores can do quite a number on one’s dietary health. A good 3-day juice fast upon returning home usually fixes me right up.

Jarboe : No – I can eat a huge pizza all by myself and still get out there and belt a song.

Ericah : No; being a college student does!

Michael Plaster : Yes. Correct this? Stop drinking.

Tara : Being a touring musician definitely leads to bad eating and sickness due to lack of good nutrition and sleep. We try very hard to make sure we are given fruits and vegetables at our shows. We also try to drink as much water as we can. It would be fine if you were a big rock star... they’re pampered!

Nick: I live alone and eat almost all my meals out at cheap and horrible places. A lot of times, I’ll have a “rock n’ roll” dinner of a Slim Jim and some Golden Cheez before rehearsal.

Lisa: When we are touring, it is very hard to eat well. On the highway, there are mostly burger joints. Yuck! We try to eat as healthy as we can, stopping at Subway or Denny’s for a nice salad and a garden burger. When I am involved in a dance production, it is sometimes hard to find time to eat and you have to eat to keep up your energy. I find it best to make sure I have some fruit with me, some powerbars, and bagels and peanut butter — oh, and lots of water.

Elysabeth: On tour it can be difficult to eat healthy. To correct this, we request things like granola bars at clubs instead of junk food so we can eat it on the road.

Sam: Yeah, being on tour means a lot of crappy food but you also get some really great food. And, somebody else foots the bill. So it’s not all that bad. I had great Vietnamese food across from the Phoenix in Seattle. Yum! And quite a bargain.

Michael Laird: No, just make sure to drink lots of coffee all the time every day; also, I make sure to stay dosed up with large quantities of St. John’s Wort which I understand is classified as a “vitamin supplement.”

Jason: No, unfortunately it doesn’t. I feel that when I do begin performing live that it might slim me down a bit but it doesn’t hinder or accelerate my appetite any.

Matthew: No, maybe just more of an intake of Merlot.

MV: What is the most essential kitchen tool for you?

Tara: A sauce pan.

Jarboe: My Le Creuset Screwpull.

Ericah: A can opener.

Charlotte: Without a doubt, my juicer...perhaps that’s technically an appliance. I couldn’t live without it.

Lisa: A garlic press and a sharp knife.

Elysabeth: A paper plate. I do not like to do dishes.

Sam: The big black spoon that I stir everything with.

Melody: The refrigerator where I keep my whipped cream and a bottle of vanilla liquor from Spain called “Cuarenta y tres.”

Natalia: My automatic-timer coffee machine. Waking up with coffee ready without having to feed, house and beat a slave is just GOOD!

Matthew: My microwave rice cooker.

Michael Plaster: Essential? If you truly mean “essential,” I guess that would have to be the refrigerator or lawn mower.

Jason: It has to be the egg beater... I’m into kink, what can I say? No really, I’d have to say that it’s the spatula and I could tell you why but then I’d have to kill you and you were nice enough to interview me and it would start this whole karmic tornado... It really is the spatula because I make killer eggs and omelets, I have to admit — I am the Eggman, I am the walrus, goo-goo-ga-choo!!

Nick: From my limited exposure, you want a dialogue about the virtues and vices of Taco Bell?

MV: Nick, I actually had a mental picture of you on stage. The music swirls to fill the cavern, you turn around, and viola! A chimichanga protruding from your mouth! Aye Chihuahua choruses sung to the tune of ‘O Fortuna’ in the background to accompany this image.

Nick: I ADORE the little dog! I love him so! I guess my nonchalant attitude regarding the culinary arts has been a good thing as I’m still relatively svelte while my 40ish male peers appear to be pregnant!

MV: Do you think the preservatives are keeping you...well..preserved? A good shape at 40 is twice as hard as it is at 20.

Nick: Actually... did you know it takes a lot less embalming fluid to preserve a typical American corpse than it did 20 years ago because of the shocking increase of preservatives in our diets?

MV: Could you name a type of cultural dish that has been a blessing in the American diet in your opinion.

Michael Plaster: This is such a typical, dumb-guy answer, but I’d have to say Italian.

Ericah: Pasta

Tara: Oh geez! I guess I’ll pick Mexican! but they’re all good! (everything but onions and weird meat products!)

Charlotte: The godsend from Thai cuisine—pad Thai.

Jarboe: HMMM. Well a lot more people eat soy dishes and whole grains and fresh squeezed juices and organic produce now- 30 years after the hippies...

Lisa: Sushi! It is low fat and very yummy! (for veggies there are lots of veggie options with sushi too!)

Elysabeth: Hummus. Anything with cilantro or curry.

Sam: Asian food. European food is just too bland, except maybe Mediterranean food. I love spicy stuff!

Michael Laird: Tex-Mex!

Matthew: Pot roast or the stuffed baked potato.

Jason: Ho-Ho’s... God bless ’em!! Actually I love sushi, need that iodine and the occasional salt water parasite doesn’t hurt.

MV: Which cultural dishes should American’s get more accustomed to consuming?

Tara: Indian

Charlotte: I can’t be emphatic enough about Indian food. It is extremely healthy, very easy to make (as soon as you build a good solid spice collection) and cheap to make, especially if you buy spices in bulk like you can at most co-ops.

Jarboe: We have every cultural dish available in Atlanta — a home of awesome restaurants. I guess more Japanese influenced food, instead of Burgers, like at Fusebox Restaurant here in Atlanta, is a good thing if you don't want to die of a heart attack....

Lisa: Sushi, middle eastern foods like humus and falafel, Asian noodle dishes like pad Thai and udon soup...oh, I could go on forever....

Elysabeth: Just more fresh food in general. I would love to see healthy restaurants open late, not just White Castle and random burrito joints.

Sam: Tofu. Well, soybeans and EVERYTHING that is made from soybeans. Stop eating meat, you damn Republicans!

Melody: I love Indian food. I wish it was everywhere. I’m a vegetarian, and other than vegetarian restaurants there really is rarely as vast a selection of food for a non-meat eater than at an Indian restaurants. And the music kicks ass!!

Matthew: Anything with beef. Its now been proven that if we eliminate carbs from our diets, you will be more active and lose weight. Less tired, etc.

Michael Plaster: Vietnamese, in my worthless, unimportant opinion, is the Tastyliciousest of all Asian cuisine.

Jason: Well (and this is my political humor) one dish I can honestly say that American’s are consuming on a daily basis is manure. It’s a bit hard to swallow though.

MV: What is the oddest thing you ever had to consume?

Michael Plaster: FISH!

Ericah: Beef and tater-tot casserole

Jarboe: We won’t go there!

Tara: Gravy made accidentally with self-rising flour. it was more like dumplings or something! yuck!

Charlotte: Well I wouldn’t say I had to...but I did once have a very interesting mushroom-chocolate milkshake. I like to experiment...

Lisa: Actually, it was quite good. In Venice, Italy, I had squid served on polenta. The squid had been colored by its own ink, and when I ate it, it temporarily turned my tongue, teeth and lips black!

Elysabeth: Any kind of meat where I can still see the eyes and the ears. I don’t like that.

Sam: Uni. But I love it!

Melody: Radioactive ink.

Michael Laird: Xanax

Natalia: Fried fat. You have to love Eastern Europe: “ Would you like some fat with your fat?” Second runner up: fish fins. Japanese cuisine seems to draw absolutely no boundaries — you kill it, you eat it. All of it. I drew the line at fish eyes, though. Third runner up: Okra. Slimy texture and suspicious-tasting seeds make for a suspenseful culinary experience.

Michael Laird: Excuse me, but my southern heritage demands that I draw attention to the fact that “fried” okra is not only very tasty but contains all three basic food groups, namely salt, fried fat, and slimy vegetables.

Matthew: Chicken hearts. But if prepared by an old Italian woman, they are heavenly.

Jason: It is a drink called Doogh and it is from India... the most foul thing I have ever put to my lips.

MV: Is there something you would never eat again no matter what?

Michael Plaster: Anything and everything FISH. I will stand by this theory to the end; there is no way to eat fish and not be sick.

Charlotte: No More MEAT!!! I’ve been faithfully off of red meat/poultry for about 8 years..by now it’s as much due to health concerns as to my disgust for eating corpses. There are some very scary accusations being voiced about the incomplete, unsanitary processes the afore-mentioned meat products go through on their way from the slaughter-house to the store.

Jarboe: I am not fond of the red kidney bean sweet drink you can get at Pho places ...

Jason: I would have to say Doogh (I don’t know that that’s the right spelling).

Ericah: Beef liver and onions, or beef and tater-tot casserole

Tara: Besides spoiled stuff, I guess raw onions! YUCK! YUCK! YUCK! (sometimes they sneak up on you though!!!)

Lisa: Shredded carrot salad. It always made me gag as a kid.

Elysabeth: Beets.

Matthew: Sardines out of a can. blah. Like wharf scrapings.

Sam: That disgusting diner food we had in Midland, Texas.

Michael Laird: I went into this bizarre Malaysian restaurant in Chinatown once with David Tibet and I don’t know what we ordered but it was really, really sick and weird — I wish I could remember what it was, because it was so completely retarded and horrible.

MV: Of all the culinary delicacies available, is there anything that you really have wanted to make yourself but you just couldn’t?

Michael Plaster: Anything that doesn’t have instructions printed on the back of the can.

Charlotte: I would love to be able to make decent Thai...unfortunately it doesn’t come quite as naturally to me as Indian cooking.

Tara: Cut out cookies! how pathetic!!

Lisa: Perfect rice... oh, and microwave popcorn...I often burn it.

Elysabeth: The perfect man.

Sam: Don’t know.

Melody: Toast

Ericah: Toast

Matthew: Don’t have one in particular...

Jarboe: Haven’t found that recipe yet. A lot of people probably don’t know that at one time I trained as a gourmet chef. The problem now is that I just don’t have time to prepare elaborate meals. I mean last night I had a burrito and a Corona!

Jason: Love gravy!! >;^)

MV: If you owned a restaurant, what type of theme would you want it to be and what type of cuisine would you feature?

Michael Plaster: Well, I can tell you what it WOULDN’T be.....Bottomless Pete’s Swashbucklin’ All-You-Can-Eat Fishatorium

Tara: hmm...I would want the restaurant to look sort of “Alice and wonderland-ish.” It would be a cool coffee house with good drinks and desserts and all kinds of deli-type sandwiches and soups. Oh! and lots of ice cream flavors!

Jarboe: Wow! I HAVE dreamed of owning a restaurant actually...But art wins my heart...I guess if I DID have something to do with a restaurant, it would be a Country French place with some Creole thrown in! I am from people originally from the Dijon region of France who moved to New Orleans, after all.

Charlotte: It would be a collective hodgepodge of Mediterranean, Thai, and Indian. and it would be entirely vegetarian and vegan.

Lisa: I would want it to be a sushi restaurant (duh!) and I would want the theme to be a sort of re-creation of the bamboo gardens in Kyoto...a very calm and meditative atmosphere.

Ericah: Carnivorous. All-meat cuisine

Elysabeth: I would start a restaurant geared at people who dine alone. There would be just one or two huge tables, and there would be games and stuff on the tables that encourage conversation (like maybe a photo of Ricky Martin?) It would be an eclectic buffet with sushi too, of course.

Sam: I’d call it “Rock-n-Roll Has Beans” and only serve food with beans in it!!!

Natalia: Hungarian, without the fried fat. ; )

Matthew: OK. I wanted to open a coffee house called Saturday Mornings. It would have the cartoon network on about 7 TV sets all around, serve bulk Captain Crunch, Quisp, Cocoa Wheat’s, etc. for cheap, and good coffees and teas. Toast with cinnamon too. (It’s supposed to) remind you of that vintage childhood of getting up early on Sat and watching GOOD cartoons.

Jason: This is actually true... I want to open an Italian chicken restaurant and call it “SAL MINELLA’S”. Of course it would be an extremely well kept facility with the board of health inspecting it, oh, every week. It would offer various chicken dishes (mostly Italian).

MV: If you could tell parents not to feed their kids just one food, what would you want them to eliminate?

Jarboe: Well, I would say it is a credit to my mother and father: we never had frozen food or fast food. And to this day, I have never eaten a fast food hamburger.

Michael Plaster: FISH, because of the gross, blatant mistruth the public has been “fed” that FISH is somehow “good for you,” which it is not.

Ericah: Tofu

Tara: Soda pop! but I guess that’s more of a beverage. Okay, processed food! Make ’em eat “real” food damnit!

Lisa: Those horrible breakfast cereals that are all artificial.

Elysabeth: Processed lunch meats. Gross.

Sam: Corn syrup. It’s not a food, but it’s in everything. AND IT IS EVIL!!! Remember at the end of the X-files movie, when the corn syrup truck drove away? Need I say anything more?

Natalia: Entrails, as a rule, just seem counterintuitive...but I suppose frequent consumers of entrails are doing so because they don’t have anything else, so who am I to forbid it?

Matthew: Coke, Pepsi, etc. I see parents hand these things to kids and they are like bullets bouncing off walls....!

Charlotte: Boxed cereal is pretty much the nemesis of good health. Although it’s a widely accepted breakfast food of Americans, it’s loaded with sugar and preservatives that turns children into ADD cases. (Not a scientifically proven fact.) But it’s interesting how profoundly diet affects behavior. Take a look at a child of a caffeine-addict/type A personality/“food-is-my-escape” parent in contrast to parents who are conscious of the importance of whole and organic foods. The former child is usually more needy, disobedient, and attention-starved than the latter child, whose diet provides a stable environment for the growth that is already made so difficult in our society.

Jason: Hmmm... I’m not really sure that I would have them stop feeding kids anything but I have to say — bring back Smurfberry Crunch cereal for Pete’s sake!! Who’s with me????