Morbid Outlook - Thoughts in the Dead of Winter

I am planning a New Year celebration to take place December 31 and January 1, rather than on October 31 and November 1, and I was wondering if it is acceptable to use the Samhain rituals for my celebration. Otherwise, do you have any other suggestions to have a successful pagan new year? Blessed Be to you from me.

The nice thing about the Pagan/Wiccan religion is that there isn’t a dogma that one has to follow. Granted, the “official” New Year for us is the 31st of October, but with today’s busy life and ever changing schedules, it isn’t always something that we can do at the prescribed time. As long as you have the devotion and sincerity and are as close to the time as possible, it should work out fine.

Dear Witch Hazel, My boyfriend seems to be allergic to deodorants. He will be OK with a new one for a day or two but then he will break out in an irritating, bumpy rash under his arms.

Can you suggest a brand that I can buy in a store for him. Concocting something at home with double broilers is not an option. Thank you, Heidi.

You didn’t mention if he had tried the hypo-allergenic rock crystal type of deodorants. These can be picked up in most health food stores or well stocked pharmacies, depending on your location. It is made of mineral salts and looks like a big block of quartz crystal.

Hello, my friend and I are both new to Wicca and we were wondering what is the minimum amount of people that you need to form a coven. Is there any sort of ritual that you need to perform to actually become a coven? In a movie I saw, one girl would hold a blade to another one’s throat and say, “It is better that you rush upon this blade than enter the circle with fear in your heart, how do you enter?” Then the girl would answer, “With perfect love and perfect trust”. Do wiccans do something like this? Also is it good to have four people in your coven with each one having a star sign of earth, air, fire or water? – Shannan

Before you undertake any type of coven work, it is essential to learn the basics. What you see in any film from Hollywood is fantasy and not based on reality of actual coven work. It is highly suggested that you seek out the book Teen Witch by Silver Ravenwolf for a more comprehensive understanding of what the craft is all about.

Hello, I don’t have a pentacle and I was wondering – could I just paint a white star onto a circular piece of wood that was painted black and then use that as a pentacle?

Don’t be blinded by much of the commercial trappings that are touted in some of the shops. Back in the day when there weren’t Wiccan supply stores, all the tools had to be made by the practitioner. This is still the most recommended way as it allows you to pour your own energy into the item. Many covens even require that you make your own tools, so it is good if you already have them made.

Dear Witch Hazel, I have been close friends with a boy that I met last year and I have had strong feelings for him for quite a while now, but, stupidly, never told him about the way I felt. Now, he has moved away two days ago. I have been heart broken, depressed, and worst of all I have been in actual physical pain without him near me. Is that even possible? And is there anything that can make the pain go away? Even the emotional pain? I selfishly wish I could bring him back, even though it is better for him to be where he is.

Wow, I think this is the first time someone has written in with this type of question. Unrequited love is more common than most would think. The majority of the Goth music world is full of such references, so understand that you have a lot of company in this realm.

At some point or another, we find ourselves unable to express how we truly feel towards someone. Hopefully, even though this young man has moved away, you have managed to at least obtain a forwarding address in order to keep in touch. If so, write him a letter or an email and tell him what your feelings are. It’s best to get it off your chest than to feel that it was a missed moment in time.

All of the emotional deprivation and self-punishment that you are experiencing won’t bring him back at the moment. Instead, utilize this as an opportunity for growth. From this day forward, make a resolve that you will tell people how you feel about them. Often, even older adults find loved ones on a deathbed and are still unable to express how they feel.Ê Therefore, let this heartbreak be that lesson in life to commit to telling others what is on your mind before it is too late. Life lessons often require a bit of pain, so it is essential to make the best of it.

Life will often hold up situations such as this as a litmus test for our personal growth. Some sink into despair and often go into binges of overeating, oversleeping, drinking alcohol or drugs. This is not the way to handle emotions, so I would recommend you avoid those avenues while you are particularly vulnerable, because it will only make the situation a lot worse.

Do stay close to your other friends and express how you feel. A true friend will offer consolation or just an ear for you to ventilate with.

Now is also the time to do a “self-love” type of spell. Simply soak in a tub of rose petals, or rose oil, envisioning that all the emotion you feel for this young man is turning back onto you. Fill yourself up with loving thoughts and see in your mind the ultimate type of person you want to be. Ask the universe to bring to you someone who is the same or better. (This leaves the door open in the event that his feelings towards you are the same and he does come back at some later point.)

As far as the depression, you could also look into a short term use of St. John’s Wort which is sold at most health food stores, or online at www.vitaminshoppe.com. If the depression continues to drag on for more than a month or so, then it would be essential to seek out a guidance counselor or some other type of counseling. Depression, as we have stated in past columns, is not something to ignore if it lasts for too long.

Dear Witch Hazel, I’d like to share a homemade treat for the tub – a sugar scrub. The grains of sugar are just right for exfoliation, not too scratchy or too delicate.

The recipe is simple: 1 cup of granulated sugar, 1/2 a cup of olive oil and about 9 drops of essential oil for scent. I used lavender and bergamot. Everything is blended together into a paste. While standing in the tub (because this can get very messy), you can use this to scrub from head to toe. Once you rinse off with soap and water, your skin feels super-moist, especially after being exposed to the drying winter air.

I highly recommend giving this a try. The recipe makes enough paste for two, so and your significant other can give each other a scrub... followed by a massage... and then some! hee hee!

Thank you for your fantastic column, Erika

Thank you for sharing! This is such a wonderfully simple recipe. Thanks for writing in. Feel free to drop a line to ask your pagan/herbal related questions or share your spiritual progress!